So there have been a few things that have changed, been updated, or otherwise happened since we last spoke. First of all, we have a name: Emsley Bryn (Emmy, Emmie, Emi, Emme - it's being debated - for short). Emsley is of British origin, and means "Gift from God," which seems appropriate for our current situation. We had been debating between "Cora Bryn" and "Selah Bryn," and for the last four months debated on which one. So we decided that neither would do, and are going with Emmy. Things are starting to feel more real now.
Kami is now about 30 weeks pregnant where the baby, according to BabyCenter, is approximately the weight of a Chinese Cabbage, as if anyone has any idea how much that weighs. They may as well have said "Your baby weighs as much as a Leprechaun's Knapsack!" Or, "Your little wonder is approximately the weight of four Hinklewinks!" I'm pulling for a July 4th birthday, for obvious reasons, but if it's July 10th, that's the All-Star Game. I'm not sure why I'm jazzed up about that possibility, but I am. Basically, we're looking at Emmy coming along at any point from 6-10 weeks. Which is not long. Pardon while I go breathe into a paper bag.
Anyhow, Kami had that three-hour blood sugar test to see if she had the "Gestashul Di-beetus" (as I recently heard it named), and it came back normal, so no risk of...whatever that guy thought it was. Also, Kami will be heading to Waco/Dallas on Thursday for the weekend, so I'm off to Atlanta on Friday to hang out with my cousin. Once Kami gets back, we're pretty much tethered to Nashville until, I don't know, 2014. At our last doctor's appointment, Emmy's heart was ticking like an Avett Brothers song:
And Kami's blood pressure was absolutely perfect. The Good Doctor does want to see her just before she goes to Dallas, and then it's seeing that dude every two weeks until El Dia Grande. In other positive news, we paid him off. Dr. Smallwood officially received $2067.40 from us, so now we can actually take her home when she does decide to show up, instead of just visiting her in his office between 2:30 and 3:15pm on Thursdays, until he got his green.
Things are moving along quite quickly. This weekend is, depressingly, almost over; then it's our respective out-of-state trips next weekend; then it's Birthing Class weekend; then Lanie - the little girl that Kami takes care of - has her dance recital. Memorial Day Weekend we're planning a Babymoon, and then it's June. I was told by El Jefe at The Hermitage that pregnancy is like being on a speeding train, from which you cannot actually slow down, or disembark. I'm starting to see his point.
Housing update: There are some other factors at work, but it looks as though we're going to stay put in our apartment for the time being. After thinking about it, there just may be such a thing as Too Much Change, and to have a baby and buy a house at the same time seems like somewhat of a bad idea. At this point, we simply don't know what our expenses will be with Emmy, so we don't want to even deal with the possibility of getting $500'd and $1000'd to death while still figuring out how this whole Baby Thing works. I bet she's expensive. There's a chance my brother-in-law will move out, at which point we'll have the room for a nursery (and some extra storage space). So everything will be fine. It may make me a bad grandson, but at least I'll feel like a responsible husband/father.
Speaking of expensive, we got about 80% of our baby registry done on this fine day. So if you're so inclined, since my Daddy Registry List was met with thundering indifference, you can buy things at either Target or Babies R Us. There will be a registry at Giggle.com, as well, but we'll fix that tomorrow. Five hours of scanning things was quite enough, thank you very much.
I can't tell you how wonderful Kami is. If you'll allow me to get personal - something I do not enjoy doing - for a moment, I was not expecting my first emotional breakdown since finding out Kami was pregnant to begin with to come in the pacifier section at Target. She's the love and light of my life, and I cannot imagine doing anything without her. There's no way I could be with someone else for nine years - most everyone else camps out and sings Kum Ba Yah on my nerves well before nine years have passed.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Monday, April 16, 2012
Daddy Registry
I'll have Baby Shower info up here soon enough, because I'm man enough to admit that sending out shower invitations is just a way of saying, "Hey, if you want to buy us some things, not only would that be great, but here's a list, and would not only be appreciated, but encouraged."
But there are some things that I'd personally be interested in, such as:
This. This. Or this. Definitely this and this. This. This, for sure. Pretty much all of these.
This list will evolve.
But there are some things that I'd personally be interested in, such as:
This. This. Or this. Definitely this and this. This. This, for sure. Pretty much all of these.
This list will evolve.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
I was the eskimo, and I was sold ice
So today was a big day, huh? After looking at 26 houses, we think we found the one (now we just have to read up on how this HUD thing works). We're going to go back tomorrow evening and see it again, just to make sure that we didn't miss a crawlspace full of monkeys, or a hidden closet full of clowns (mine and Kami's worst fears, respectively). Should everything work out, we'll place our bid on Tuesday, and then wait for the government to get back to us. Based on recent events, the government should get back to us around June 2041.
Then came the unexpected part. Back in January I got a wild hair up my tailpipe and bought a $200 Groupon to Mattress Firm for $50. Because, you see, the mattress we currently have is about eight years old - which is about 60 in Mattress Years. It was a great mattress. Except when we moved into the house on Lake Street in Cooperstown, the stairwell leading up to the bedrooms wouldn't allow for the size of said king mattress. Because the house on Lake Street was built in a time where people over 5'10" were hanged for sorcery. So in order to get our wonderful king-size Ikea mattress up the stairs to the bedroom, we had to get the straps you use to keep refrigerators on dollies and fold it like a dadgum taco.
This obviously had a less-than-ideal impact on the mattress' effectiveness.
(Side note/history lesson: Our bed doesn't have box springs, but instead uses the wooden slats. Old beds used ropes to keep the mattresses aloft, and you would have a Rope Key that you would use to tighten the ropes to keep it from sagging, much like our mattress does now. So when you went to bed, you were told to "Sleep Tight." Boom. Knowledge Bomb.)
Anyhow, over the past 13 weeks or so the mattress hasn't been treating Kami right. I sleep fine, but I could lay down on the floor, be asleep in five minutes, and only wake up when my kidneys fell asleep. We go to bed around 10pm - later for me, because it's been MLB Extra Innings' free preview week, and I've watched every Astros game I could after she goes to bed. I'm very tired. So Kami sleeps from 10pm, gets up and goes to the bathroom, goes back to bed, gets up and goes to the bathroom, and goes back to bed. Then, lately, she wakes up at 3am and can't get back to sleep until about five minutes before my alarm goes off at 5:15. This has made the days go by in a disagreeable manner.
So we've sort of been looking for a new mattress. I keep telling Kami that we could probably get one for about $400. She says a mattress that costs $400 is not a mattress worth sleeping on. So today we decided to go into Mattress Firm, after possibly resigning ourselves to spending our Groupon on a mattress topper, just to see if that might make things easier.
Those Mattress Firm dudes were so smooth. I walk in with my pregnant wife, and they were like sharks in the water, and I was bleeding. One salesman had Kami lie down on the mattresses while the other salesman chatted me up about my old-school Astros hat, and the impending move of the Astros to the American League. I had no chance.
The salesman asked what our price range was, and I said, "I have a baby coming, possibly in ten weeks. I'm not emotionally prepared to spend $2000 on a mattress." He guided me over to the Simmons Roosevelt mattress, king size. I looked at the price tag - almost $4000. He says, "Hey, I'll tell you what. This is the floor model, we need to get it moving. What if we take some off the top, and with your Groupon, and our 72-Hour Sale, that'll bring it down to $1600?" He suggests the $150 waterproof mattress protector and delivery tomorrow afternoon (just in case Kami's water breaks while she's asleep, and we don't have to do this again in three months), and what does that total come to? $1870.
Apparently I'm not emotionally prepared to spend $2000, but $1870? SIGN ME UP. The bed comes tomorrow between 2:30 and 5:30pm.
Then came the unexpected part. Back in January I got a wild hair up my tailpipe and bought a $200 Groupon to Mattress Firm for $50. Because, you see, the mattress we currently have is about eight years old - which is about 60 in Mattress Years. It was a great mattress. Except when we moved into the house on Lake Street in Cooperstown, the stairwell leading up to the bedrooms wouldn't allow for the size of said king mattress. Because the house on Lake Street was built in a time where people over 5'10" were hanged for sorcery. So in order to get our wonderful king-size Ikea mattress up the stairs to the bedroom, we had to get the straps you use to keep refrigerators on dollies and fold it like a dadgum taco.
This obviously had a less-than-ideal impact on the mattress' effectiveness.
(Side note/history lesson: Our bed doesn't have box springs, but instead uses the wooden slats. Old beds used ropes to keep the mattresses aloft, and you would have a Rope Key that you would use to tighten the ropes to keep it from sagging, much like our mattress does now. So when you went to bed, you were told to "Sleep Tight." Boom. Knowledge Bomb.)
Anyhow, over the past 13 weeks or so the mattress hasn't been treating Kami right. I sleep fine, but I could lay down on the floor, be asleep in five minutes, and only wake up when my kidneys fell asleep. We go to bed around 10pm - later for me, because it's been MLB Extra Innings' free preview week, and I've watched every Astros game I could after she goes to bed. I'm very tired. So Kami sleeps from 10pm, gets up and goes to the bathroom, goes back to bed, gets up and goes to the bathroom, and goes back to bed. Then, lately, she wakes up at 3am and can't get back to sleep until about five minutes before my alarm goes off at 5:15. This has made the days go by in a disagreeable manner.
So we've sort of been looking for a new mattress. I keep telling Kami that we could probably get one for about $400. She says a mattress that costs $400 is not a mattress worth sleeping on. So today we decided to go into Mattress Firm, after possibly resigning ourselves to spending our Groupon on a mattress topper, just to see if that might make things easier.
Those Mattress Firm dudes were so smooth. I walk in with my pregnant wife, and they were like sharks in the water, and I was bleeding. One salesman had Kami lie down on the mattresses while the other salesman chatted me up about my old-school Astros hat, and the impending move of the Astros to the American League. I had no chance.
The salesman asked what our price range was, and I said, "I have a baby coming, possibly in ten weeks. I'm not emotionally prepared to spend $2000 on a mattress." He guided me over to the Simmons Roosevelt mattress, king size. I looked at the price tag - almost $4000. He says, "Hey, I'll tell you what. This is the floor model, we need to get it moving. What if we take some off the top, and with your Groupon, and our 72-Hour Sale, that'll bring it down to $1600?" He suggests the $150 waterproof mattress protector and delivery tomorrow afternoon (just in case Kami's water breaks while she's asleep, and we don't have to do this again in three months), and what does that total come to? $1870.
Apparently I'm not emotionally prepared to spend $2000, but $1870? SIGN ME UP. The bed comes tomorrow between 2:30 and 5:30pm.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Song #97
So last night's song (#97) was "We Don't Gotta Work It Out" by Fitz & The Tantrums.
Ms. Thang was quite responsive, especially when the baritone sax kicked in, and the keyboard thing in the second bridge. It's also quite possible that she was eating (seeing as how it was a couple of hours after Kami had dinner), and was just tapping her foot while she ate.
Ms. Thang was quite responsive, especially when the baritone sax kicked in, and the keyboard thing in the second bridge. It's also quite possible that she was eating (seeing as how it was a couple of hours after Kami had dinner), and was just tapping her foot while she ate.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Catching Up
My apologies for the latest lull - I went to San Antonio for a conference (shout-out to Dave & Hailey for the hospitality, great hanging out), and then off to Houston to see my parents.
Anyhow, for the last week, I've been trying to catch up from being gone for six days. So some updates:
*Glucose! The Friday before I left for San Antonio, we went for Kami's glucose test, to see if she is running the risk of being gestationally diabetic. It was the one-hour test, and she got the results while I was gone. What was Kami's test? 141. What's the cut-off so that you have to take the three-hour test? 140. So Kami had to take the three-hour test eight days ago. We're guessing that, since we haven't heard anything, everything's fine.
*Ms. Thang kicks like Pele, especially when I play her music. See, we're about 100 days (give or take) away from the Due Date - and that's provided she makes her due date. So we have started using my phone to play her our 100 favorite songs. So far (in no particular order):
-Trip Through Your Wires, U2. Result? She liked it just fine, but nothing crazy. Which breaks my heart just a little bit.
-Mirrorball, Elbow. Result? Absolutely nuts. Ms. Thang loves Elbow, which makes my heart sing. I sat my phone on Kami's belly, and that phone popped like popcorn - it was great.
-Haven't figured out tonight's selection just yet, but it'll be a good one.
*My appetite has totally changed. Usually, I'm down for french fries pretty much whenever. You can wake me up in the middle of the night and ask if I want to go to McDonald's. I would be pissed at you, but yeah, I would go. However, lately, I'm not interested in french fries whatsoever. What does it mean? Probably nothing, but it's weird, nonetheless.
Anyhow, for the last week, I've been trying to catch up from being gone for six days. So some updates:
*Glucose! The Friday before I left for San Antonio, we went for Kami's glucose test, to see if she is running the risk of being gestationally diabetic. It was the one-hour test, and she got the results while I was gone. What was Kami's test? 141. What's the cut-off so that you have to take the three-hour test? 140. So Kami had to take the three-hour test eight days ago. We're guessing that, since we haven't heard anything, everything's fine.
*Ms. Thang kicks like Pele, especially when I play her music. See, we're about 100 days (give or take) away from the Due Date - and that's provided she makes her due date. So we have started using my phone to play her our 100 favorite songs. So far (in no particular order):
-Trip Through Your Wires, U2. Result? She liked it just fine, but nothing crazy. Which breaks my heart just a little bit.
-Mirrorball, Elbow. Result? Absolutely nuts. Ms. Thang loves Elbow, which makes my heart sing. I sat my phone on Kami's belly, and that phone popped like popcorn - it was great.
-Haven't figured out tonight's selection just yet, but it'll be a good one.
*My appetite has totally changed. Usually, I'm down for french fries pretty much whenever. You can wake me up in the middle of the night and ask if I want to go to McDonald's. I would be pissed at you, but yeah, I would go. However, lately, I'm not interested in french fries whatsoever. What does it mean? Probably nothing, but it's weird, nonetheless.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
And tonight, I was emasculated
BY MY WIFE. Well, let's get started with this.
We watch Parenthood, on Netflix. Kami loves this show. I'm warming up to it, but it's a little too emotional for me. I'm not much with "emotions," and especially "showing my emotions," or "having feelings." Everything's fine, and it's always fine, and it's always going to be fine. Or so I would have you believe. Anyway, in this particular episode of Parenthood the girl is learning how to drive.
Quick aside: I failed the written portion of "Basic Motor Skills" in Driver's Ed six times (perhaps my parents don't know this). I couldn't figure out if the car on the page (or the screen) was my car, or if it was the car in front of me. That's a pretty substantial difference.
Anyhow, so I when I got my first car (a 1980 Volkswagen Sciracco), it was obviously a stick shift. My dad took me to the church building, and we took a couple of spins around the parking lot. And then he told me to drive home. I drove the however many miles like I was on the back of a bronco. It took twenty minutes and eight transmissions, but by God, I got it home.
So we were talking about teaching Babby Girl how to drive, and Kami called it, and threw Mr. Six Basic Motor Skills in my face like I have to ride the bus to work, because every time I drive to work it's a miracle I don't end up upside-down in the lake.
I've learned to ask myself, in almost every situation, "Is this worth fighting about?" 95% of the time, the answer is, "No." 5% of the time, the answer is, "Yeah. This is worth it." This wasn't one of those times. So I said, "Okay, but I get soccer practice." Kami laughed.
I went from Zero to Psycho in 1.4 seconds. See, I'm pretty insecure about my non-existent soccer skills. I get up every Saturday morning at 6am and watch whatever game is on. And when I was 22, I was in an intra-mural league where I had an open goal right in front of me and I kicked it over the goal. I was devastated. All I've really ever wanted to do was score a goal. Later in the game, I had another wide open goal, kicked the ball off the post hard enough that it came right back to me, where I - once again - kicked the ball right off the post. Then I fell down. I screamed as though a zombie apocalypse was upon me.
As soon as I called "soccer practice," I could see that episode replay in Kami's eyes, and God bless her, she laughed. Then she said, mid-giggle, "I get baseball practice." Because in Cooperstown, in the midst of my 0-for-13 season, Kami took me into the backyard and showed me how to swing. And she showed me how to swing like I was a nubile college girl, and she was the leery golf pro. Hands on my hips, moving up to my shoulders. And I'll be a monkey's uncle if just about all my buddies didn't turn the corner and see Kami all feeling me up and whatnot.
So I'm not really sure what the point of this is. Yeah, I was emasculated, but not on purpose. There are things I'm good at: I'm good at reading. And making historical topics easier for kids to understand. I'm good at yelling at the television. I know the rules of sports. I'm better at appreciating things. And influencing others. My daughter will know that Josh Gibson was one of the greatest players to ever play baseball. Maybe the best catcher ever - forget Johnny Bench (seriously. Look at 1937, 1939, and 1943), but I won't be able to tell her to keep her elbow up. That's what Kami is for.
We watch Parenthood, on Netflix. Kami loves this show. I'm warming up to it, but it's a little too emotional for me. I'm not much with "emotions," and especially "showing my emotions," or "having feelings." Everything's fine, and it's always fine, and it's always going to be fine. Or so I would have you believe. Anyway, in this particular episode of Parenthood the girl is learning how to drive.
Quick aside: I failed the written portion of "Basic Motor Skills" in Driver's Ed six times (perhaps my parents don't know this). I couldn't figure out if the car on the page (or the screen) was my car, or if it was the car in front of me. That's a pretty substantial difference.
Anyhow, so I when I got my first car (a 1980 Volkswagen Sciracco), it was obviously a stick shift. My dad took me to the church building, and we took a couple of spins around the parking lot. And then he told me to drive home. I drove the however many miles like I was on the back of a bronco. It took twenty minutes and eight transmissions, but by God, I got it home.
So we were talking about teaching Babby Girl how to drive, and Kami called it, and threw Mr. Six Basic Motor Skills in my face like I have to ride the bus to work, because every time I drive to work it's a miracle I don't end up upside-down in the lake.
I've learned to ask myself, in almost every situation, "Is this worth fighting about?" 95% of the time, the answer is, "No." 5% of the time, the answer is, "Yeah. This is worth it." This wasn't one of those times. So I said, "Okay, but I get soccer practice." Kami laughed.
I went from Zero to Psycho in 1.4 seconds. See, I'm pretty insecure about my non-existent soccer skills. I get up every Saturday morning at 6am and watch whatever game is on. And when I was 22, I was in an intra-mural league where I had an open goal right in front of me and I kicked it over the goal. I was devastated. All I've really ever wanted to do was score a goal. Later in the game, I had another wide open goal, kicked the ball off the post hard enough that it came right back to me, where I - once again - kicked the ball right off the post. Then I fell down. I screamed as though a zombie apocalypse was upon me.
As soon as I called "soccer practice," I could see that episode replay in Kami's eyes, and God bless her, she laughed. Then she said, mid-giggle, "I get baseball practice." Because in Cooperstown, in the midst of my 0-for-13 season, Kami took me into the backyard and showed me how to swing. And she showed me how to swing like I was a nubile college girl, and she was the leery golf pro. Hands on my hips, moving up to my shoulders. And I'll be a monkey's uncle if just about all my buddies didn't turn the corner and see Kami all feeling me up and whatnot.
So I'm not really sure what the point of this is. Yeah, I was emasculated, but not on purpose. There are things I'm good at: I'm good at reading. And making historical topics easier for kids to understand. I'm good at yelling at the television. I know the rules of sports. I'm better at appreciating things. And influencing others. My daughter will know that Josh Gibson was one of the greatest players to ever play baseball. Maybe the best catcher ever - forget Johnny Bench (seriously. Look at 1937, 1939, and 1943), but I won't be able to tell her to keep her elbow up. That's what Kami is for.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Something Of Which I Am Being Deprived
If you were to ask me about my favorite movies (which you are now, theoretically, doing), I would respond in the following manner:
1. The Departed
2. The Gangs of New York
3. The Usual Suspects
4. Inception
5. Die Hard
(Varsity Blues was THISCLOSE - my junior year at ACU, I was very sick in my dorm room, and put Varsity Blues in my TV/VCR combo. I watched it all the way through. Through the credits. Then it stopped, rewound, and played all the way through again. I was either too sick to get up and hit "Stop," or I was too sick to care. Jon Moxon > Tim Tebow.)
And No, I am not comfortable with the fact that three of my five favorite movies have Leonardo DiCaprio in them. Could have been worse. That said, I can watch Die Hard at pretty much any point. I can't count the number of times I've looked at Kami and said, "Well, we can always watch Die Hard." Technically, I think Die Hard 3: With A Vengeance is superior. So it would go Die Hard 3, 1, 2, 4. Much the same way I rate the Indiana Jones movies. But Die Hard 1 is what started it all, so it gets #5 billing.
Yet I digress. This is about Die Hard, and how Sgt. Al Powell's evening started before Hans Gruber, et al., ruined, yet saved John McClain's marriage to Holly Genarro. No, I did not need to look any of those names up. If you remember, Sgt. Powell (played by Reginald VelJohnson - who also was Carl Winslow, on Family Matters) opened his evening at a gas station with arms full of Twinkies. The gas station attendant eyes him questioningly, and Sgt. Powell responds, "They're for my wife. She's pregnant."
The point of this is that Kami has deprived me of buying arm-fulls of Twinkies. She may have a craving, but it's for hummus. Or carrots. Last night she wanted a hamburger at the late hour of 5:45pm. Not once have I gone to Sonic for breakfast burritos at 11:30pm. I haven't gone for Mint Oreo Blizzards at 10:15pm. Never have I been asked to go to the gas station for delicious horrifically processed sugar.
She's been a good girl. And that sort of irritates me because, you know, I've been thinking about Twinkies since...oh, 1988.
1. The Departed
2. The Gangs of New York
3. The Usual Suspects
4. Inception
5. Die Hard
(Varsity Blues was THISCLOSE - my junior year at ACU, I was very sick in my dorm room, and put Varsity Blues in my TV/VCR combo. I watched it all the way through. Through the credits. Then it stopped, rewound, and played all the way through again. I was either too sick to get up and hit "Stop," or I was too sick to care. Jon Moxon > Tim Tebow.)
And No, I am not comfortable with the fact that three of my five favorite movies have Leonardo DiCaprio in them. Could have been worse. That said, I can watch Die Hard at pretty much any point. I can't count the number of times I've looked at Kami and said, "Well, we can always watch Die Hard." Technically, I think Die Hard 3: With A Vengeance is superior. So it would go Die Hard 3, 1, 2, 4. Much the same way I rate the Indiana Jones movies. But Die Hard 1 is what started it all, so it gets #5 billing.
Yet I digress. This is about Die Hard, and how Sgt. Al Powell's evening started before Hans Gruber, et al., ruined, yet saved John McClain's marriage to Holly Genarro. No, I did not need to look any of those names up. If you remember, Sgt. Powell (played by Reginald VelJohnson - who also was Carl Winslow, on Family Matters) opened his evening at a gas station with arms full of Twinkies. The gas station attendant eyes him questioningly, and Sgt. Powell responds, "They're for my wife. She's pregnant."
The point of this is that Kami has deprived me of buying arm-fulls of Twinkies. She may have a craving, but it's for hummus. Or carrots. Last night she wanted a hamburger at the late hour of 5:45pm. Not once have I gone to Sonic for breakfast burritos at 11:30pm. I haven't gone for Mint Oreo Blizzards at 10:15pm. Never have I been asked to go to the gas station for delicious horrifically processed sugar.
She's been a good girl. And that sort of irritates me because, you know, I've been thinking about Twinkies since...oh, 1988.
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