No way it's been almost six weeks

So little Emsley will be six weeks old on Wednesday. That makes absolutely no sense, though I realize that I'll be saying that for the next 30+ years. While I apologize that it's been so long since you and I have had a little chat, in fairness (to me), we've been a little busy.

Here's what I've learned over the course of the past 5 1/2 weeks:

1. Sleeping. Emsley sleeps pretty great. She fights her naps during the day, which means that she crashes out pretty hard at night. Over the past two weeks or so, she has evolved from two-a-nights to one feeding during the night. Ever more occasionally, she sleeps between 10pm-4:30am. My alarm typically goes off a little after 5am, so I get up with her, and feed her for the early-morning feeding times.

 Here's what I have noticed about my sleeping habits, though. I don't need much sleep - if I get around six hours of sleep a night, I'm generally pretty good (until I do that for 2-3 months, and then I get sick). But I have noticed that I have been in the habit of getting those six hours all at once.

 The day Kami went into labor, we had been up since 4:30am. Kami because she couldn't sleep, me because Brown Dog woke me up because he was chewing his own rear end so loud, it disturbed my slumber. Her water broke later that afternoon, and we were up all night, and then most of the following day. At 10pm I was sitting on what felt like a liferaft (uncomfortable, and waterproof), had been up for 39.5 out of about 40 hours, and recall thinking, "This is odd. The room seems to be turning 90 degrees to the right." And I woke up three hours later, face-down on the liferaft, covered in drool - hence the "waterproof" note, it had pooled up just under my nose.

Anyhow, getting two three-hour naps puts the hurt on my day...

Which leads to the second thing I've learned...

2. It's not about me. I'm an only child, and Kami has spent the last 9+ years conditioning Only Child Syndrome (symptoms include feet-stamping and extreme pouting) out of me. But something has come over me, where I'm typically more than happy to just do things for Kami and Emsley. Whether that's laundry, dishes, cleaning bottles, or sterilizing pacifiers - it's all pretty awesome, because I get to be a dad and help Kami out. And it's almost a badge of honor to look like I'm one meeting away from falling out of my chair and falling asleep on the floor (I have learned to work through lunch, and then go somewhere cool and quiet to take a 20-minute nap). If someone at work asks, "Hey, are you okay? You just ripped that guy's throat out...quite literally, unfortunately." You can say, "Ah. Baby duty. I've been up since 3:45." And all is well. Having a child is a solid excuse for poor social behaviour.

3. Coming home from work to your wife and kid is pretty much the best thing ever.

4. I can't swaddle to save my life. But that's okay, because Emsley hates being swaddled. When she was first in the hospital, the nurses would swaddle her (because at one point I cried out at 2am, "Jeebus! It's like trying to put pants on an octopus!" They came in pretty quick after that. Kami may have dinged the button while I fought back tears.) and within five minutes Emsley would throw her feet up like a V-Up Roll-Up from P90X. I know that's from P90X because I've done the first week like eight times. Emsley, being, 9lbs 7ozs was obviously a little cramped. So she slept cross-legged. Having slept cross-legged for so long, she did not like to have her legs swaddled up. Even in her sleep sack - perhaps the greatest sleeping invention ever, seriously, I'd pay $67.95 for an adult sleep sack - she sleeps cross-legged.

5. Emsley is the perfect combination of Kami and myself. She's just so beautiful, just like her mommy. Funny thing is, Emsley sleeps with her arms above her head - like so ---->

At night, I like to read for about 30-45 minutes before going to bed. So the other night, I went to bed after Kami did, and I leaned over to give Kami a kiss. And lo and behold, Kami's arms were in the exact same position.

6. This is going to be totally awesome. And I'm going to write about it more.

Off to the pediatrician!

So...today was Pediatrician check-up day - which means that Kami (and Emsley) were able to get out of the house for the first time since they were sent home from the hospital.

This is a big thing for Kami because she's a beach/ocean/summer girl. I love the summer, I hate being cold, but my temperament is more suited to staying indoors, drinking coffee, and reading. I hated the physical cold of living in New York, but there was something pleasant about a blizzard that kept me inside (since it gave me an excuse not to be outside doing things, like working out). Another winter of that and I'm reasonably to moderately sure Kami would have murdered me.

Here's a cartoon representation of Kami:

And here's me:

Yep. Kami is a human Care-Bear Stare. Yet for the last couple of weeks it has been so hot that I think I saw Dante walking around in capri pants and a tank top (I guess on this level of hell, Dante is a little effeminate). Then we go into the hospital, which didn't have much sunlight in the delivery room. And then it rained for five days (which was great, but didn't provide much in the way of sunlight). So there hasn't been much Vitamin D around our place.

With the trip to the pediatrician on tap, Kami was quite excited to get out - even if it was to a doctor's office. Something I'm going to have to be better about is getting Kami (and Emsley) out of the house, and getting some sunshine. Whether that's pulling out the Baby Bjorn for Kami to use, since we've already addressed the fact that the Baby Bjorn on me makes me look like Baby Boudin, and taking Gunther and Angus out for a walk, then that's what it will be.

(Gunther, by the by, is not used to being on the lower half of the totem pole. Gunther, who is Kami's spirit animal, is having a hard time figuring out why he can't sleep on the bed. Angus, who is my spirit animal, my dark passenger, is loving not being anywhere near the fringe of attention.)

Ah yes. Emsley was born at 9lbs 7ozs. Today she was 7lbs 15ozs, so she's lost some weight, but because she was born so big - and because Kami had received so many fluids, the pediatrician isn't all that concerned. We do have to go back on Thursday for another weigh-in. A successful weigh-in, and she'll fight Manny Pacquiao on September 4.

Oh, and Emsley is perfect. Sorry I'm not sorry.

The most magical thing I've ever seen.

So, yes, it's been a few days since posting anything here - and in between the last update (which, I believe, was about 7am on Wednesday) and now, Emsley Bryn came into the world. Let's go back and revisit how this all happened, eh?

Kami's mother flew in last Friday (July 6). My dad flew in on Monday, when we had our doctor's appointment where we figured Inducing was an option. If you recall, our air-conditioner went out during the heat wave, and we had not yet fixed it. So on Tuesday morning, the day before the scheduled inducing, my dad and I dropped our car at the dealership, went to lunch - where we talked about impending fatherhood - went to the vet to get pills for Gunther, and went to the library. Gunther woke me up at 4:30am. Kami had been having stronger-than-normal contractions that morning, but since she had the Uterus That Cried Wolf, we didn't think much of it.

We got back to our place, and were talking, and my dad wanted to go get a nap, get some dinner, and go to bed early, since we had to be at the hospital about 6:45am on Wednesday. He, of course, rented a car at the airport, so we talked about when he was going to pick us up to go to the hospital (since Kami's mom had to take her rental car back that morning). It was determined that we should keep his rental car overnight. We could pick him up in the morning and then go to the hospital, but he wasn't comfortable with us not having a car within 18 hours of being induced.

That turned out to be a pretty good call.

As I was on my way back from dropping him at his hotel, I got a call from Kami's mom that said, "Kami's water broke-" And she may have said something else. I don't know, because I hung up on her (probably the only time that it's perfectly acceptable to hang up on your mother-in-law). Kami was getting ready to take a nap, laid down on the bed, felt a Pop, and when she went to the bathroom, the water started.

We packed up the car and drove off to the hospital. I called my dad twice, left voicemails, texted a couple of times, to no avail. In true Yasko fashion, he was indisposed due to a bathroom necessity. So we sped off to the hospital, bags in the trunk, Kami in the passenger seat, Kim in the back.

Had the rental car been a DeLorean, we would have been transported on I-40, because I looked down and was, indeed, hitting 88mph.

I had called Baptist to let them know we were on our way, and we arrived a little before 3pm. Kami was taken into a delivery room with the contraction monitor on her, and we waited. Our first nurse had trouble getting the computer to work, which was frustrating, because...for every reason, actually.

So we waited. Kami had been dilated to 3cm on Monday, and by Tuesday afternoon, she was about 3.5cm dilated. We waited, and it was slow going.

Kami had a plan to go all-natural: local anesthetic, no epidural. Around midnight, after what had essentially been 16 hours of labor, and progressing to 5cm, that plan had to be abandoned. The pain from the contractions was so bad, Kami was shaking and sweating. A wrinkle on which we had not planned was Kami's scar tissue from her surgery in December 2008 was burning with each and every contraction - or every three minutes for about seven hours. It was untenable.

In the meantime, we settled in for what was going to be a long night. Kami was far more comfortable after the epidural, and she was able to doze off from time to time. I just watched her.

Around 2am, Kami still hadn't progressed very far, and the nurse said that she would be checking with the doctor (oh yes, the Good Doctor was not going to be delivering Emsley, unless she waited until after 7am - which wasn't a very thrilling possibility.

Around 4:30am, Kami finally made it to 9cm and 100% effaced. So we're thinking, "Hey, we'll be done with this here pretty soon." It so happened that was not to be. However, when the shift change happened, our new nurse came on, and the Good Doctor was, in fact, on duty.

Okay, about 9am, Kami still was not progressing, and every ten minutes there was a differing opinion on whether or not Kami could deliver Emsley on her own, or would need a C-Section. They had been pushing pitocin to help the contractions along. For about an hour there was second opinions and 3rd opinions on getting her through the birth canal. Dr. Smallwood came in, checked her out, advised Kami to try to push, and see how things worked out. Two hours later, she was still pushing, and - oh yeah - the epidural was wearing off. Rather than re-upping on the pain meds, the Good Doctor said that, another half-hour, and she just might be able to have the baby. She kept pushing.

He came back 30 minutes later (this would be about 12:15pm on Wednesday) and said, "Well I guess we're ready," to which Kami replied, "C-Section?" to which he replied, "No, you're about to have a baby."

I'll save you some of the details, but that day was the most magical thing I've ever seen. In the seconds after she was born, everyone in the room - nurses included - was crying. Kami was a rock star, pushing through the possibility of a C-Section (just because she didn't want to. She sort of does what she wants, and get what she wants.)

Emsley Bryn Yasko was born at 12:46pm, 22 hours after we arrived at the hospital, and was 9lbs 7ozs, and 21.25" long. Yeah, she's a big 'un. And she's absolutely gorgeous. When they put her on Kami's chest, we all just fell apart. I was able to hold her while Kami slept a little...and, yeah, I'm toast.

We ended up going to sleep about 10pm on Wednesday night, which means that we were up for about 40 of 41 hours - which I'm sure won't be the last time, but it was totally worth it.

I realize that was a very detailed, emotion-less account of the events of July 10/11, but this just needed to get on record. There will be more to come in the next few days: thoughts, reactions, delusions, things of that nature. Just for now, though, Emsley: We're so glad you're here, and I would be happy to go through all of that again, just to kiss your sweet face.

7am Update

Kami was able to sleep in snatches from 4-5:30 this morning. I slept from 5:30-5:55 (but that doesn't matter).

That 6cm mark was brutal. Took hours to progress. But with the 6:45 checkup, we found that Kami was all the way to 9cm and 100% effaced. So now we get excited to wait a little bit longer. And perhaps shut an eye or two.

Update

The first talk that I have with Little Miss Emsley is going to be about having some DADGUM RESPECT for the human body's cycle. Check the time. Go ahead, I'll wait. Got it? Yep - been up for 21 hours straight.

I know - this won't be the last time I'm up for 21 hours. And I know - Kami's way worse off than I am. She's the one doing the actual work. Even typing this out makes me any body part you're thinking. That said, I'm 32 years old. If I stay up to watch Walking Dead, I'm worthless until Tuesday. At this rate, I'll only just have recovered in time for her to go to prom.

Anyhow, strange thing: Kami's heart rate goes down during contractions. Our nurse said that, were her heart rate actually the baby's heart rate, it would be a cause for concern. As it is, Kami is 6cm dilated, and so we wait...

9:25pm update

Alright - we've been here for about 6.5 hours, and Kami is now 5cm dilated.

She's doing great. Dominating ice chips. A  couple of Popsicles.

I helped her take a shower, then I took the liberty of getting in and cleaning up, since that was what I was going to do when I got back to the house. It was lovely.

Kami's doing great because, as you already know, she's a rock star.

More later.

It's Baby Time

So Emsley decided she did not want to wait to be induced, and her water broke about 2:50pm.

My dad and I had lunch, took the car to the shop, and I had dropped him off at his hotel. He was going to pick us up tomorrow morning, but talked us into keeping his rental. This was a good decision.

I was on my way back from the hotel when Kami's mom called to say her water had broken. I may, or may not, have used a mild expletive and punched it to the house.

We loaded everything up and were out the door within ten minutes.

So now we're in the Labor Room, and Kami's at 4-5cm dilated. I'm trying to guess as to when to make jokes, and I haven't been entirely successful.

More later.