Why not, eh? Everyone else is doing them. Here are my New Year's Resolutions for 2012:
1. Have baby. This one should be taken care of a little over halfway through the year.
2. Do not vomit in the delivery room. This one isn't just a matter of timing, it's going to take an act of God to not vomit, faint, perspire at an alarming rate, act like an idiot in general.
3. Lose 25 pounds. I could do 30 pushups right now, if you wanted me to. But until waiters stop referring to me as "Fat Jesus," "Moonface," or "Tell-A-Tubby;" or immigration officials stop doing cavity searches for Zebra Cakes, it's time to get it together for the baby.
4. Wear a tie, to pretty much everything.
5. Avoid strangulation by Kami.
6. Come up with (entirely legal) ways to pay for this baby. Any inquiries as to syndication, publication, or book-dealification can be submitted to jamesyasko (at) gmail.com
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