We have dilation!

So one of my least favorite things, being of the glasses-wearing persuasion, is the part of the eye test where they dilate your pupils. Turns out there are no similarities between cervical dilation and pupil dilation. Much less stinging. Now we're almost 37 weeks - wait. I was under the impression that Kami was about 38 weeks. And when the Good Doctor said, "Hey - you're 37 weeks! Home stretch!" In my mind, the record stopped.

I said, "I was sort of under the impression that she was about 38 weeks." The Good Doctor looked over her file and said, "Yeah, the due date looks like it's about July 9." Which sucks, because I really want to meet Emsley. Anyhow the Good Doctor said, "Well let's check for dilation."

Sure enough, Kami is 1cm dilated. Having absolutely no idea how big a centimeter is (it's not, as Wikipedia corrected me, a meter with 100 legs), I looked it up. It's not big. It's small. Too small for a baby. But it is the beginning of the latent phase of labor. Active labor is 4cm, so another three meters with 100 legs and we're heading out. Not that I'd be able to tell...

Still, the contractions keep coming. On Monday night I could have sworn we were going to the hospital - contractions for about a minute, seven minutes apart. So sure were we that we cleaned our place. Our good friends Josh and Katie are going to handle Gunther and Angus while we're at the hospital, and Kami swore that they wouldn't come over to a messy apartment. So we cleaned. Except when we cleaned, that moved things around so the contractions slowed down.

The Good Doctor told us that the contractions would be more frequent, but likened the 1cm dilation to being "on the downhill with no brakes." My question - internally, because if I'm too cheeky with the Good Doctor, I get mean looks. And I do not want mean looks from a very pregnant lady in Tennessee in June - was, "what kind of vehicle is it?" Because if it's a pair of roller skates, well, there's no need to get too worked up. If I'm on the downhill in a Segway with no brakes, I won't fret. But if I'm on a Razor Scooter, then I'm going to be slightly concerned.

One thing, though: Emsley has been growing and moving around so much (and Kami is doing her best Sneezy Dwarf impression) that she's messing with the nerves in her back. So Kami has a pinched nerve and it, as you can imagine, does not feel good. When she asked the Good Doctor about it, he suggested heat and massage. Then he looked at me and said, "So, dad, you're going to have to get to work." Slightly insulted, I replied, "Oh, I've been working." Both Kami and the Good Doctor looked at me with pity. And some anger.

Still, being dilated one cm - while not a predictor of labor - does mean that we're on the way. And I can't wait to get this started, even if it means that I get punched. Off to massage Kami's back.