There's not really much else of an explanation. Kami has Pregnancy Brain. Containers that are not sealed shut have a strong to quite strong chance of being tumped over. Eggs get dropped. Salt gets knocked over. This is normal. These things happen. No use getting upset about it.
Also, on Sunday afternoon, I wasn't feeling so hot. I had some iffy plumbing (if you catch my drift), and there were severe storms marching down Interstate 24, and turning south on Interstate 75, to where I was in Atlanta. So, faced with the possibility of driving the four hours on a RumbleTummy, through storms, I decided just to stay in Atlanta an extra night.
This meant that I would wake up at 4:15am Eastern, take a shower, and drive back to Nashville. Of course, now apparently I get panic attacks. So with worrying about oversleeping, getting in a wreck, or something happening to Kami, who was flying back to Nashville yesterday morning. The last time I looked at my phone, it was 12:40am.
Regardless, with the time change, I should have arrived about 7:15-7:30 - plenty of time to iron a shirt and get ready for work. But people in Nashville simply cannot drive effectively. With a school group due to arrive about 8:15, I pulled into work at 8:12 in a t-shirt and windpants ("The Coach," as I call it). I threw on the button-down shirt I had, put on some nicer pants, and threw on a sweater I keep in my desk drawer because my shirt was too wrinkled, and I didn't have time to iron it. (Yes, I keep a full extra outfit in my office. Just in case the Poops come, or I fall into a vat of honey, or PETA comes - for whatever reason - and pops me with fake blood). It was also almost 90 degrees, and I was walking around in a long-sleeve shirt and sweater.
I worked all day, and forced myself not to fall asleep at 6pm. I managed to make it until 9pm, and we went to bed (Kami hasn't slept well in about five months). Waking up groggy at 5:30, I got about eight hours of sleep - something that has not happened since I was approximately 13 years old.
We have a system at work. I was going to Starbucks in the afternoon and spending $2-3 on a cup of coffee. So we got a coffeemaker at work to fight this needless expense. As it was my turn to buy coffee, and I needed to be at work early, I stopped at Kroger. There should seriously be an alarm on bags of Decaf Coffee, a motion sensor that sets off a Rammstein song on auto-tune, and a demonic voice that yells, "ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO BUY DECAF, FOOOOOL?" But there isn't. Also, Gevalia should do better than a little green box in 3-point font that says "Decaf" on the bag. I bought decaf.
And then I couldn't find my phone. I called it from work. I borrowed a co-worker's phone and called my phone from the car. I knew I used it at Kroger, so I called Kroger's customer service and asked if anyone turned in a cell phone. Nobody had. I sort of accused someone at Kroger - no one specific, just someone - of taking it and using it.
I did some looking online, after two and a half hours, mind you, and found Plan B. It's an app that you can remotely install to your phone, and it emails you with the location. The location, after ten minutes, was "narrowed down" to within two kilometers of The Hermitage. I paced the grounds, looking down. I looked under my desk. I checked my pockets 43 times. I looked in the bag of ridiculous decaf coffee. I looked in the refrigerator. And whaddayaknow? My phone was right there, on top of my leftover pasta, chilling at 38 degrees.
Clearly, Kami's pregancy brain has gone Zombie, and has consumed my braaaaaiiinnnn and caused all of this. Or it could be all the sleep.
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