Dadgag

Manly things I do well:

*Take care of Kami.
*Scratch.
*Watch baseball.
*Take the dogs for a walk.
*Take the dogs to the Vet.
*Take out the trash. All of the trash.
*Run the errands Kami does not want to run.
*Grill meat.

Manly things I do not do well:

*Fix things.
*Build things.
*Workout regularly.
*Dance.

Unmanly things I do well:

*Alphabetize things.
*Karaoke.
*Impressions.

Unmanly things I do not do well:

*Dance.
*Touch wet things.

This last one is troublesome to me. I'm pretty much going to make one of the most unmanly sounds you've heard come from a man if I have to touch wet food. Let's say there's something in the garbage disposal, and it sounds like lumberjacks are building a bomb in the sink - I have to get my delicate wife to reach her hand in there, or I will gag. And I mean full-fledged dry heave (sometimes it's a moist-heave, which is as horrific to experience as it is to read the word). I'm not proud of this. ForGod'ssakes I'm going to have a baby, and I can't touch soggy asparagus without retching? That's not good.

But something has changed in the last 18 weeks. I bought an over-the-toilet storage rack last week, and in putting it together (mostly before Kami got home - I'm working on the "putting things together" part of What I Don't Do Well), I dropped a nail in the toilet. Kami was home by this point, assisting in the transport of said object. Still, I reached in the toilet and got the nail out. Keep in mind, there wasn't anything in the toilet but eau de toilette, but still - it was the principle of the thing. Kami was very impressed, to the point of taking the manliness of reaching in the toilet to get a nail right out of the equation.

She hugged me, and said in a thick, contrived Southern accent, "Mah Stro-ong May-an" (which I sometimes think is her being a touch condescending). I didn't feel quite as manly, but I do feel as though I'm making progress, seeing as how, you know, babies make a lot of weird things you have to touch.